The Goat Across the Street

When I moved into a new apartment right before my final year of college, things were generally uneventful - at least initially. On Tuesday and Thursday mornings I was taking an extremely difficult law class and it required a lot of studying. It was killing me. But little did I realize that my life was about to get worse.

One morning as I left my apartment to go to class, I spotted a goat across the street in the park. It was tethered to a tree and eating grass. As I walked along the sidewalk, our eyes met. I turned my head away and tried not to think anything of it. But after a few meters, I looked back at the thing again. It was glaring at me with its cold, goaty eyes. The feeling made me uneasy. I reached the end of the street and was about to turn right, but against my better judgement I decided to look back at the goat one last time. Its eyes were still fixed on me. I peed myself. Though embarrassing, you would have done the exact same thing.

As I was walking home later in the day, I braced myself as I turned the corner, expecting to see the goat still there. But he was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief. However, this feeling was only temporary. The next morning as I headed out the door, I saw that the goat had returned. Still tethered to the tree. Eating grass. Staring at me. It had murder on its mind, I was certain of this. I was terrified, but I could not let the goat know this. I had to be brave. To demonstrate to the goat that I would not be intimidated, I pointed at it and said, "Your horns look sooooo stupid!" And then I ran away like hell.

This terrible situation went on for days. Weeks. Months. It was the same thing every morning. The goat...would...not...stop...staring at me!!! It was driving me mad. As the end of the semester approached, I was still struggling in my law class. Not needing any unnecessary distractions, I decided it was time to resolve my differences with the goat. So one morning I took a deep breath and walked outside with a bucket of vegetables as a peace offering. To my great surprise, the goat wasn't there! I let out a loud cheer and began laughing like a maniac. Victory was mine!!! I had won the battle of wills. Or so I thought.

As I was coming home after my lectures, I felt wonderful. I had a bounce in my step. But as I got closer to my apartment the anxiety began to set in. Oh, not because of the goat or anything. After all, the goat only appeared in the mornings. And obviously the goat was gone. That was all in the past now. Yesterday's news. The stress was over the fact that I had a major law paper to write. Twenty pages. It was going to take all night. Even if I managed to turn it in, there was no guarantee that I would pass the course. To my horror, as I turned the corner onto my street, I saw that dreadful goat from a distance! In the afternoon??? Impossible!!! I opened the front door to my apartment, but before I went in I turned around and yelled, "You cannot win, my arch nemesis!" Then I slammed the door. I went to my bedroom to start working on my law assignment. When I turned on my computer, I noticed an unfamiliar file. When I opened it, I was shocked to discover a complete, 20-page law paper!!! It was formatted perfectly and well-researched. I couldn't believe it. Who could have done such a thing? When I looked out the window, the goat paused from eating grass, gave a wink and casually walked away. That was the last time I would ever see it.