Having a snake as a pet had always been something that appealed to Volodya. Unfortunately, his wife Yulia never warmed up to the idea. However, some unexpected circumstances would change this equation: the night that Yulia was abducted by aliens and failed to return. Though he felt pretty disappointed about the situation, Volodya understood that it was time to move on. So he went to the pet store and brought home a ball python, known for their relatively long lifespans. He named it Volodya Jr., if you care to know.
It was feeding time for Volodya Jr., so his adopted father went out and bought him a (presumably) delicious live mouse. Not wanting to witness the carnage or the mouse's squeaks of desperation, he tossed the mouse into the snake tank and left the room for a while. When he returned, he was surprised to find a snake skeleton...and a mouse with a large belly and satisfied look on his face.
"What happened to my son?" a confused Volodya asked.
"Well, he was hungry," replied the mouse, "but I was hungrier so I ate him before he could eat me. Simple as that. You've lost a pet snake, but you've gained a mouse. That's not a bad trade off, eh?"
"So...does that mean I need to feed you a diet of snakes every time?"
"Yep."
Volodya is somebody who is quick to accept any situation, so he named the mouse Ivan and welcomed him to the family. They exchanged fist bumps.
When it was time for dinner, Volodya went out and bought the largest, tastiest looking live snake he could find. But when he placed it in the tank for Ivan to eat, the snake had different ideas. He quickly swallowed Ivan and Volodya was back to having a pet snake. Think of it as a reset. He named him Volodya Jr. II as a tribute to the first Volodya Jr.
A few days passed and Volodya Jr. II was feeling hungry again, so Volodya headed to the pet supply store to find a mouse. When he got home he took a deep breath, put the mouse in the tank, and watched the events unfold. What happened next was nothing short of astonishing. Turns out, the mouse and Volodya Jr. II both shared a passion for 1980s rock music, especially Guns 'N Roses. When the mouse wailed out a cover version of "Welcome to the Jungle," the snake realized right then and there that they had become best friends.
Volodya just shook his head and was about to say something zany like, "I should have just bought a pet goldfish" when all of a sudden a blue beam of light appeared and Linda had returned! Frankly, the story that she shared with him about the alien abduction was a million times more interesting than what you've just read.
THE END
