An Unexpected Trip

Once upon a time there was a girl named Oksana. She had only one dream in life: to visit Budapest. So she contacted a travel agency, signed up for one of their weekend packages and went to their office to pay. That's when things got a bit sketchy.

The agent explained the plan: "The first step is to smuggle you into the country. To accomplish this, we will hide you in a large, brown cardboard box. It will feature climate control technology so that you neither feel too hot nor too cold. You will need to remain silent throughout the journey. We will supply you with a box of saltine crackers and a 0.5L bottle of sparkling water. In order to prevent the customs agents from opening the box and discovering you, we will attach a sign that says 'Do not open.'"

"Um..excuse me?" Oksana wasn't sure about this.

The agent continued: "Once you get to Budapest, we will arrange for you to live with a Hungarian grandfather. You will cook and clean for him. You will also be asked to read the news to him as he has poor eyesight. You will also need to describe scenes from movies as he has no time to watch them himself. You'll get a closet-sized bedroom to yourself with one of those hidden wall beds. You will be supplied with candles to give you light at night. The Hungarian grandfather has a grandson named László. When he turns 18, you will be united with him in Holy Matrimony. He's 12 now, but in 6 years he will grow into a man who will one day be responsible for punishing your children."

"What does that mean?" asked Oksana.

"He will be a very strict father.," explained the agent. "He will measure his love for your children by a number of potatoes they harvest. But he will be fair and just."

"I think there is some kind of mistake. I signed up for a weekend package. I'm not sure what all this stuff about being smuggled into the country, living with a Hungarian grandfather and marrying László is about."

"You are Oksana, right?"

"Yeah," she replied.

"Oksana Vlasuk?"

"Yep. But I'm not going to Hungary in a cardboard box."

"Oksana Anna Vlasuk?"

"No. My middle name is Diana"

"Ooh!!! My face is so red right now. I got you confused with another customer. So anyway, yeah, we have your train ticket and hotel accommodations taken care of..."

"You know, I think I would like to look around at some other travel agencies."

"Fair enough. If you change your mind, come back and see us."

"Um...yeah. Sure..." Oksana slowly backed away, walked out the door and ran off.